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September 18 2017



Me, about to be consumed by the void:

I accidentally hit post on this, but this somehow transcends all other jokes I’ve made


“Give me your jacket.”

“Are you going to set it on fire or something?”

“Well it was for warmth, so I guess fire could do the same thing.”

September 06 2017

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marvel vs dc

September 04 2017

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That’s the way to go! David Duke is a damn nazi. Thumbs up!


I hope they find new jobs soon! wishing them the best 

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me after watching a full 20 minute buzzfeed unsolved video and ryan says the mystery will always remain…………………unsolved



Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on. 

September 03 2017


“For a self-proclaimed god among mortals, he seemed awfully bothered by a little knife in the ribs.”

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i’ll stop making hamlet memes when i’m dead

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Instagram is depressing. I prefer tumblr where everyone is upfront about their misery and constant desire to die

September 02 2017


me: *gets scared that i’m wasting my life*
me: i’m gonna deal with this feeling by taking a long nap in the middle of the day

September 01 2017

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Howard Foster and Myra Clark, high school sweethearts forced to break up in the 60s due to racist social pressure. They reunited 40 years later and got married.

Beautiful then, beautiful now

That’s amazing!

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How to draw thicc thighs! part 1

#tutorial #art #sketch



I’m just never going to understand how anyone could read into Norse history and mythology and think: “Wow, all this stuff about racial intermarrying and being hospitable to travellers goes so well with my beliefs about keeping European blood-lines pure, I’m gonna use the symbols of my socially progressive nearly-democratic ancestors to back my obsession with tradition and fascism!”

Since I had a neo-Nazi follow me today, a reminder of the stance of this blog.




How on earth do some of yall have girlfriends

once u have a girl u like u can gain affection by making her favorite food and giving it to her. in some cases you can even skip the first few dialogues and go directly to the first date if you give her a large enough stack

If you spend enough turns next to her in battle, you can gain support points with her, and if you reach support level S, then the two of you can get married and have a child, which is then promptly stored in a pocket dimension for safekeeping

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Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017






“So kids, like what your seeing?”


“Samantha, I noticed that your “fun-o-meter’ is stuck in the middle. Why is that?


“Well the robots are cool, but why aren’t there any girls?”


“Why couldn’t the long lost brother be a long lost sister?“


“And how are all their disparate technologies able to connect to each other?”


“Doesn’t like boys!”


“Doesn’t understand robots!”




“That’s not what I said!”


Cartoon Network is getting too damn real

I just realized that this is probably making fun of the unjustified and sexist cancellation of Symbionic Titan.




i keep thinking about that tribe of baboons where all the alpha males died from eating poison garbage and then the baby boy monkeys were taken care of by the lady monkeys and never got socialized to be aggressive so they all just live peacefully and groom eachother instead of fighting and killing eachother and its been generations of that, it only took 1 wipeout of the aggressive males to change the whole social order of the species i am crying they must be so much happier

……….I have an idea.

don’t we all

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